The music of my life

First, I must say a heartfelt apology to all of your who read this and find me talking about music all the time. My poor children somehow put up with it and so I think everyone else can too...

My whole entire life has been surrounded with music. That part in Mr. Holland's Opus when he and his wife are sitting on the ground, headphones in hand placing it in range of the baby's ears is how I picture my mom before I was born. My early years of my musical life were filled with that great genre of soft rock songs of the 80's, Michael Jackson of course and a great foundation in LDS Hymns. When I was old enough to decide what instrument to try and learn in the 4th grade I choose the clarinet. Not a good choice, but I can still play Hot Cross Buns. 5th grade rolled around and somehow I convinced my mom violin was for me! All 25 girls in the class but it was for me! During those early orchestra days, my teacher asked for volunteers about the cello. This thing was huge had low notes....nah not for me. But like I said 25 kids...everyone wanting the violin. I said hey why not. And thus began my love affair with the cello and everything that goes with it.

I played cello all the way through high school. My teacher Mrs. Nancy Dosch, I think is an angel. I have been in love with her and that short hair cut of hers for as long as I can remember. She always thought I had great musical talent, and should have private lessons. Although being an only child people believe you get EVERYTHING you want....private lessons wasn't going to happen. I'm sure we could have found a way(Mrs. Dosch told me of a scholarship program) but I didn't think I was talented enough to take that journey. I was lucky to be able to rent a cello all those years and I can fondly remember playing cello in the summers awaiting the school year so I could start playing again. When my mom was married to her last husband I got some fantastic instruments as Christmas gifts. Including a cello. When we move from this nice little townhouse we have....I've made a resolve to start playing again. I know I'll be horrible but hey at least I can try.

I was thinking to my self about the struggle I had learning that this way going to be my talent through the LDS church and the rest of my life. My mother has shared with me a few times that my father has a wonderful natural talent for music. He took piano for a few years and played organ in church until he left. Learning this, and having my tender hurt feelings about his absence only fueled my distaste for knowing some day I might play piano like him. I know those of you who know I can play are like"April you have talent, stop complaining..." but for how sad I was about his not being there...blah blah it was hard realizing that I might one day play in church.

I claim no talent what so ever on piano or organ. I've struggled, prayed and cried in public at those two powerful instruments. If anything I play is able to be sang too, I give all credit to Heavenly Father. I had to try really hard to ask for forgiveness in being so selfish as not wanting to explore the natural talent my mom was able to see in me. I think Heavenly Father has been gracious enough to acknowledge my journey numerous times in my life, but I think my most favorite example happened on Sunday. I think I am a super UBER FAN of Music and the Spoken Word. If I don't see it, I go crazy. Of course I want to play that beautiful grand Tabernacle Organ one day...but that's a different story. I was getting everyone ready for church when I noticed something. Nathan was listening to the song, he was swaying to the music...always on beat of course. He was just looking at the tv, there was a point in the song were is was getting quiet to add drama to the end of some phrase. Somehow Nathan could sense that and started to conduct it. He turned his hands over and lowered them as if he was conducting the choir. I am still in shock. And as the music start to get louder again, he turned he hands palm side up and started "conducting" the music again to make a grand crescendo. I tear up thinking that he can sense music like that.

I am so glad I can praise Heavenly Father through music and be able to find reverent Hymns to express those sacred feelings I feel for him and His beautiful son. I'm so selfish and say that if someone wrote a song about me, like they do for Jesus...I wouldn't let anyone touch me cause I would be FANTASTIC! And then Sunday happened and I was speechless. Just able to praise the creator of our bodies, the ears we hear with and our eyes to see with my little mini me; it is and was and always will be AWESOME! I can't wait to encourage my kids to sing and to play instruments and dance for our Father who is in Heaven.